Both Girls

by Both Girls

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released April 1, 2011



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Both Girls Columbus, Ohio

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Track Name: opening night
canvasses stretching out into the distance
as white as the winter in me
dreaming of color and texture and shape
an alternate reality
hung in a gallery opening night
all the critics have nothing to see
still they go on and on about how less is more
the ultimate economy

but i walk out
i'm walking out
cause i'm tired

underneath icicles caught between states
they can't decide which way to be
i see a reflection stare back in the mirror
but who is that looking at me
with bags under eyes all glazed over and glassy
the sadness is all that i see
oh spark of ignition i carry be born
and grow like a garden in me

cause i'm burned out
i'm burning out again

the cracks on the surface stretch out into spiderwebs
and cover the face of the screen
they turn into pieces of puzzles that shatter
a curious kind of machine
i wake up and wonder why i get so angry
when something gets broke in my dream
oh spirit of charity open my hands
i don't want to keep anything

but i hold on
i'm holding on again
Track Name: forming words
slow fade back to the scene of the crime
you still walk the streets
but you're doing the hardest kind of time
duck down the alleyway out of sight
dive under cover of deepest night
in the darkness they can't see you anymore

and now my lips are forming words
that my heart has been shouting for as long as i remember
and i can't remember the last time i felt this scared
and though my voice is barely heard
the broken sounds are escaping, i am bracing for the bullets
that i know i cannot evade
i just lay here waiting for the train

breathe deep, you reach for the bottle again
when everything is spinning you don't have to let me in
so drink it down to the bottom and hit the floor
climb in the closet and lock the door
in the morning i won't be here anymore

how can you run from your shadow?
say that the sun doesn't shine
everything's always tomorrow
but i'm gonna say this tonight
Track Name: skeletal

the skeletal remains of who we were
exhumed from a shallow grave
would you whisper if there's something
that you want to say

the tickle in my ear an answer
in a word from another age
that everyone who's ever been is just the same

and history is not an upward sloping line
but it's a spiral moving up and down and in and out
like electrons hopping valences

and meaning is a label easily assigned but soon forgotten
cause when we die our words trade places
and spin stories of their own

so we chase the wind but it blows away again

the faces in the crowd all staring back
bleed into a sea of grey
does anyone have something that they'd like to say?

our moment in the sun is fading fast
so speak up, tell me anything
maybe you could be the one to teach me how to sing

you say that life is not a sequence programmed
from the sky but it's a story
woven up and down and in and out
like the stitches in a hem

and meaning is a ghost that hides between the lines
and in the margins
so in the end our words are carried
by another set of arms

from the dust we come, to the dust we go
and the space between where the garden grows
is a mystery that no one will know again

and who can say which way the wind is gonna blow?
all the liars try to tell you that they know
spinning stories smooth as silk into a web
turn around and switch the ending up again

so we chase the wind and it blows away again
Track Name: abra
there he was standing there at the foot of the stair
with his head hung low
as she observed from a perch high above
at the edge of a picture window

and the thing was decided; she'd made up her mind
but he did not know
so she waited awhile and smiled to herself
as he turned to go

she said "i'm gonna chase him down"
she said" i'm gonna turn him back around"

there he was walking home, all confounded, alone
with his head hung low
he was cursing himself for allowing the flower
to bloom and grow
she was good, he was bad, that was it
that was all that there was to know
why would he entertain silly thoughts
of a thing he could never know

he said "i'd only bring her down, and she'll do better
without me around"

then she stepped out of nowhere with a finger raised
she said "shut up and listen closely to every word
i have to say / you're the one i've wanted from the moment i first realized
the world was colored shades of grey / not covered up
in black and white
and you are good and you are bad
like every man i've ever known
and i think i'm in love with you
i'm not afraid to tell you so"

"and now you know"
Track Name: nothing i can keep
i am at a loss, i am out of breath
i'm climbing up the walls and falling to my death
it's bitter to the taste to wake up with the sunrise

everything i have is nothing i can keep
it's heavy like a weight i crumble underneath
my head is like a bank of screaming static screens

looking for a line that i can't follow
echo back, the room is dead
everything i know sounds thin and hollow
running through my aching head

everyone i know is saying something
but i don't really want to hear
maybe if they'd shut their mouths the silence
would finally start to come in clear

i am at a loss, i am on the wall
i'd rather go around, afraid i'm gonna fall
but it stretches out as far as any man can see

everything i love is nothing i can keep
the demons hear the sound and gather underneath
they shudder at the thought that anyone is free

looking for a line to pull me higher
staring at the midnight stars
climbing every rung of jacob's ladder
up into the deepest dark

i can hear the sound of angels singing
i can hear them overhead
i don't know if i'm awake or dreaming
for all i know i might be dead

looking for a line that spans the ages
searching for a common thread
sewn into the binding of the pages
i'm turning over in my head

i wrestle with a man without a face
and whisper in the ocean's ear
underneath the sun i'll make my case
and when it falls i'll disappear
Track Name: ekg
shooting pain in shoulder
sudden loss of breath
panicked palpitations
pulsing through the chest

polaroid explosion
passing through the brain
images familiar
strung out like a chain

you go weak in the knees like a drunk at the end
of the night
you can see but the people and places are multiplied
or divided depends on the day

as you lie on the floor looking up at the lights
every thought that you keep at the back of your mind
rushes forward demanding a turn to address
center stage

EKG is dancing
monitor alarmed
suddenly surrounded
octopus of arms

field of vision narrowing
tunnel into space
electric intervention
startle back awake

now you're conscious enough to believe
you came back from the other side
bits and pieces of pixels burned in your mind
but the picture is too hard to see

like an island of blue in a white static haze
re-encrypted in code buried deep in a maze
broken memories of meaning are all that remain
but it's enough

well i can hear sirens singing songs coming closer
all the time
i see the colors kaleidoscopic lights
they turn around and again penetrate the night

and i can hear voices in my head spin a silent thread
it pulls itself apart and unites again
my broken record brain sewing circle shapes
i'm floating like a stone into outer space

i open up my eyes and i'm seeing stars
a needle in a vein filling up my arm
the curtains pulling back man in uniform
am i ghost? am i being born again?
Track Name: bluejay
you're the bluejay sitting on my windowsill
and i don't want to scare you but i probably will
cause i'm chasing rabbits with my hatchet swinging
honey, please don't fly away now, please keep
singing me your song

sing your song

if i kill those rabbits i'll come back outside
with a blood stained hatchet swinging at my side
walk into the river with you on my shoulder
am i getting stronger as i'm growing older?
i don't know

i hope so

but as the dust cloud settles and the wind dies down
i'm still chasing rabbits all across this town
like a wild-eyed animal afraid of everything i've
never seen
never seen

that i've never seen
is it all a dream?

like a blind man carrying a loaded gun
say i'll count to seven but i fire on one
all the bullets ricochet and riddle nothing
i've been running ragged
all this shadow boxing takes its toll
it takes a toll
Track Name: relocation
you were born inside a bubble with three doctors, seven nurses standing round just in case
and they all said hello

as they wrapped you up in blankets blue and told you you were beautiful, you frowned
like you already knew

that there was something in the water here
that made you want to disappear
relocation not an option
can't put yourself up for adoption

you grew up outside the city, picket fences,
pretty people all around
and they all said hello

and on summer days days in swimming pools
you wondered what would happen if you drowned
i think you already knew that there was

something in the water here
that made you want to disappear
set in motion a chain reaction
but nothing ever really happens

you say deliver me from evil

in a room without a window shiny people read the principles aloud
with faces all aglow
but their voices ping mechanical and monotone
a hollow kind of sound

i think you already knew
that there was something they weren't telling you
a distorted point of view
poison dripping from their tongues
and leeches living in their lungs
good intentions gone to shit
a demonic power trip
get me out of all of this
is it pointless to resist?

deliver me from evil

will i become a part of the devils i see,
assimilated into their devious strategies?
tentacles stretch out menacing over me
is there a way out? will i be history?
Track Name: inkbleed

chart a course out to sea
quiet waters carry me
fall apart like a tree
bending backwards on the beach

i hear the wind talk back when the hurricane tries
to pull her into the spin
she says "i'm only gonna tell you one more time,
don't bother me again"
but you know a hurricane does what a hurricane does,
it swallows everything

and she will drown inside the spinning wheel

chart a course out to sea
quiet waters carry me
and when the deep calls to deep
will you answer, will you sleep?

and like a derrick perched on a burned out rig
in the gulf of mexico
you watch the ink bleed out of a broken pen
a mile down below
a crude black cloud invades the blue
it colors everything

like the bruises on your skin that never heal

they remind you of the darkest matter
done in charcoal on a faded yellow
piece of paper crumpled in a corner
smooth the creases and you die all over

chart a course out to sea
quiet waters carry me
fall apart like a tree
bending backwards on the beach
Track Name: buoyancy
seven stories up i can see a shadow
playing on a wall it's a copycat that
matches every move that i make so perfectly

spring is in the air and the moon's a sickle
swinging through the sky like a pendulum
suspended from a point outside our galaxy

swimming on the glass are a thousand colors
born out of the lights though they have no mother
bend into a blur as we turn the corner
meet us on the other side

people that we meet offer up a smile
they wear it well though it's not the style
maybe they forgot to put on their apathy

for just one night let's not look down
at the street below
pray this buoyancy
will never go

coffee and a book at a corner table
bottom of the cup with a corporate label
drink it to the dregs and you'll die like socrates

out into the night like a pack of wolves
recaffeinated minds make a manic move
we're dancing to a tune that no one can hear
but you and me

enter at the base of the tallest tower
elevator up nearly half an hour
we're smaller than we thought we were and that's ok

out onto the deck sip a glass of wine
the city is asleep but it doesn't mind us
watching as it breathes and dreams of better days

for just one night let's not look down
at the street below
we'll pray this buoyancy
will never go
Track Name: scatter
days are numbered, scarcely few squares remaining
i know should move but i sit staring
at the disappearing sun

light penetrates the gloom, burning slowly
i am not alone but i am stranded
in this skin that holds me

a cell without a solid wall reining it in
could spill over like a waterfall into an endless ocean
all together, up and over the dam
the glass will fall and shatter and scatter the sand
scatter the sand

everything i love is gone
it died before the break of dawn
now i'm lying in a state of near
suspended animation

but underneath a starry sky
i'm wondering if i could try again
and summoning the strength to just start
going through the motions

the magical in the mundane
it's a miracle we never name
invisible until it turns into a resurrection

now i'm running at the break of dawn
though i'm tired and the night is long
i'm waiting for the sun to crawl back over the horizon
Track Name: ohio is an island
ohio is an island in the middle of the sea
and winter is a blanket you can curl up underneath
it's almost hibernation, it's kind of like a cave
an island with no beaches and a shoreline without waves

distance is the spyglass that i point across the sea
perspective is the language that i'd like to learn to speak
we're working out solutions to equations we can't read
we recognize the symbols but we don't know what they mean

so would you promise me you'll tell me
if you run across the key
to the door between our bedrooms
that blows open in the breeze

i don't know if i can stay here
but i don't know if i should leave
am i running from a ghost
or am i caught in the machine?

a pattern is the presence of a reoccurring shape
a circle is a line that turns around and never breaks
a plane without a runway with no fuel in the tank
plummets toward the city like a stone into a lake

but if you lay down in the hudson on a january day
the fuselage will burn but you'll be watching from the bank

as you recollect the nightmare in the morning
when you wake
do you recognize a pattern?
do you shudder at the shape?

tonight i'm sewing my eyes open
with a needle and a length of thread
and i'll try to keep my distance
lying six feet from your bed

i know that it's not easy watching dawn wake up again
when you've been blacking out the windows
to keep the light from coming in

cause when it comes it brings you comfort
and when it goes it brings you pain
you thought if you could stomp it out
then maybe you'd feel sane

but you can hear it in the distance
you still see it in your dreams
it's written on your back and it will never let you be

you can hear it in the distance
you can see it in your dreams
it's written on your back and it will never let you be